A Amazing day!

So today I talked on the phone for 2 hours with an old friend that I haven't talk to in awhile. We talked about where we are in life, how we miss each other, and what we are going to do to make our friendship last forever.

She is a truly amazing person. I am glad that we got in contact with each other. Its amazing that no matter what we have gone through and have heard about each other and have said about each other that we can drop all that, move on from that and talk to each other like we have been great friends the whole time. I feel as if I have truly completed a stage in the changing of myself. I never knew how wonderful and healing it would be to truly forgive someone, hear each other apologize and then become friends once again.

Even though she live states away I know for a fact that we have both grown as people and we will have an amazing, long lasting friendship.

a little piece of my heart!

So I was reading something earlier in my books that I got to study for psychology! Even though I haven't started school yet it sure is nice to learn more before I start.lol anyways... I was reading and it had a quote, "live for today. Yesterday is already gone, and tomorrow may never come!" It triggered the cry button in me, and trust me, I hate crying and hate people knowing that I cried, but for some reason the past couple of months it doesn't take much to make me cry! I was crying because what if I died tomorrow? There are so many things that I have wanted to get out but never did because I am so stubborn and afraid noone will listen! So in order for me to start living for my "todays" I have to let go of my "yesterdays"!

This is what I need to say.
To my husband:" I'm so sorry for the being the heartless bitch I was when we moved to kansas! Sorry I don't give u as much attention as u try to give me, and I'm sorry for trying to push u away!" I use to hurt people because I thought they would hurt me first so I wanted to beat them to the punch line. I was the demon killer you see in movies that sucks the life and happiness out of everyone around me because I was lifeless, and unhappy, I'm glad that I finally found the light at the end of my candle because the dark was sucking me in like a blackhole that u can't get out of.

I want to say sorry to the people I have hurt and talked about. Everyone has their different way of living, and I shouldn't have judged. I look back and I say to myself, "why was I that person?, why did I say those horrible things?, why did I hurt the people who I cared about the most?" I finally know the answer. I wasn't happy, so pointing out everyone elses problems made mine look so much smaller, and that was very wrong of me.

I have 1 amazing friend (Kristen) that has been there through thick and thin for the past 8 yrs. We have hurt each other and talked about each other, and we have grown up together! I thank god everyday for her and my family because if it wasnt for their positive views on my life I wouldn't be laying here today. She is an amazing person because she has forgiven me and I the same for her and we have made our friendship grow into something so amazing that noone can break it down!

I have 1 friend here in Kansas. She doesn't know the old me, but I have told her the things I have done and told her how I screwed up some great friendships because of my unhappiness. Granted I didn't get into detail about how my marriage was because that is the past and I don't want her to judge my husband by the person he use to be.


There will always be "the girl that ran away" from me. I will miss her but I will not blame her for the decision she made! I hurt her, when I should have been there lifting her up! But I know that in my heart I will always be able to say, she was good friend to me, even with all the things I said to her.

Then there are alllll the other women I have hurt one way or another. "You were good friends." Some of us were in negative places together and would hurt each other. But I will never hate them. People change, people make mistakes. If I once said u were one of my girls, then u will always have a place in my heart. I love each and everyone of them and always will.

I have always told myself "Love doesn't consist of being perfect, we all make mistakes, but love does consist of forgiving each other for the mistakes that have been made." I love you so I forgive you! Do u forgive me?

I will live for today! I will cherish today, and I will let everyday mold me as a better, more caring, and loving, Mother, wife, friend, daughter, and neighbor!

Wow. Writing that took a lot off my chest!

pee pee in the potty!

My 3 year old is very bad about not wanting to go to bed lately. I use to put a gate at his door so he would go to sleep. I refuse to shut his door because I'm scared something might happen to him and I won't know. I then decided to throw the gates away in september because I got tired of dealing with them. Ever since I got him potty trained in october he always tells me he has to go "pee pee in the potty" when I am trying to get him to take a nap, or go to bed. Well atleast I have him potty trained though, right?


So it seems like no matter what we do as parents, our children will always find a way to postpone what they are suppose to be doing.

So Thankful!!!

Okay so I am suppose to be in the process of packing.lol So my mom called me and asked me how we were going to move our stuff tomorrow to our new house. I told her me and the hubby are going to put everything in a truck and move it.lol She then asked if we are going to have any help from any friends, and I had to explain to her that I haven't really made any friends except one, and her hubby is deployed. I just don't want the hassle of having friends right now. I'm not going to look for friends, they will come around when the time is right.

Wellmy surprised me and said that they are leaving texas right now to come help me in kansas. .My mom, Brother, sister, brother in-law and the kiddos. I am so lucky to have such a awesome family that will jump and come help me when I need it. I would do the same for them and for my friends in texas.

Bibble Babble!!

So I woke up not to long ago to my 3 year old saying, "Mommy, poptart." Lol Every morning he comes in my room and wakes me and his sister up.


Well today is my last day to do the packing before I move on base. I haven't even started.lol I work better under pressure. I know that I will have it all done by tonight, so in the morning I can just get the truck and throw everything in it.


I'm excited to be moving again, I will be closer to friends and I feel safe in base housing. Besides a good friend of mine will live down the street from me, and her hubby come home from deployment soon, so we are throwing him a party!


Well I better go get to packing, before the hubby comes home and sees I have done nothing today, YET!lol I will most likely be back when I find something that 1. Pisses me of, 2. Makes me laugh. Goodbye for now!

Moving on!

Okay so my husband is in the US Navy. We lived in florida for 4yrs. And then got relocated to wichita, kansas in august! Well after all the drama of living on base in florida we decided we didn't want to live on base again for awhile! So we started renting a really nice house, with a basement that has a bedroom and a full bathroom.

Well we have had our share of marriage problems, but this time is got worse. We didn't understand each other, and it was like we were just room mates, which was very hard. I then decided to move to texas with our Two children and live with my sister. I got a job and everything.

On the 4th week that I was in Tx. My husband called and told me he really wanted to work this out and us be together, but I was tired of trying, and I heard that line before.

On the 6th week of living there My husband called and begging me to come home but I didn't want to go. Then he asked me to do one last thing for him. And that was to watch the movie 'Fireproof'. Now if u are having marriage problems it is the perfect movie to watch. I cried like a baby when I watched it and it made me want to work everything out but I still wasn't sure.

On the 7th week my husband was sending me presents, surprise visits, asking me out toi dinner, and was being amazing. It felt really weird because that's not how he is! I asked him what was up and he finally told me he was reading a book called 'The Love Dare'. In the movie 'Fire Proof' they had that book. I really didn't thing it was a real book, so I looked it up at the book store. I was very surprised to know he was reading it.

On the 8th week I told my husband I wanted to go home and work out everything. And in a surprise 5 hrs later her was knocking on my sisters door. He drove from kansas to texas just to come get me! :)

So it has been 6 weeks since I have left Texas, and my husband is still following the love dare!

Since I have been back we have decide to move on base here so we won't have to worry about bills, and we could have a new start at a new marriage. So on saturday we move into our new place. I keep getting asked what if there is drama and I know there won't be because I am careful of who I chose for friends now. And I'm happy with my 1 friend on base. So I'm super excited about the move, the new changes in our marriage, and the upcoming events.

If you are having marriage problems, watch 'fireproof' and decide if you want to read the book or give the movie to someone you know with marriage problems.

Please make the world stop spinning.lol

So I haven't wrote a blog on here in along time! I deleted my profile about 9 months ago and created this one in november, but I really haven't had any thing I wanted to share until now!

So today my lil girl turned 1 year old. It feels like yesterday she was born. She seems so small and such a baby to be 1. Oh and to add to it she started walking a week ago! So where has the time gone? I just want to stop the clock and hold her because I know that it will be at a blink of an eye she won't let me hold her, and she will be telling me has a boyfriend, that will be fun! NOT.lol well just wanted to share!